Sì, ok, l'amicizia è una cosa stupenda. Si può essere amici in tre. Aggiungo -forse- perchè idee/emozioni/atteggiamenti/abitudini necessitano, in un rapporto a tre, di un'armonizzazione even more difficult than with a report by two.
Sharing a sandwich in three, leaving a small hole in the stomach. In two, perhaps, one full.
But I will not quibble about the transition from duality to groupality (which was almost three in a group), but on the peculiar and devastating situation in which the third party becomes the target, a scapegoat, lightning, pillow, shoulder, mattress, on which the other two jumping merrily, or blame their own emotional tensions.
Warning. Some people say it is better in three . The third is used to soothe the souls of others when the report is overheats, or when it becomes a little stale.
The third is third, however, and when the third becomes the 'other' is a mess.
may be the balance in some decisions, you may experience the sensation of being excluded or having to do with fair trial, sacrificing his own desires and needs, can bear the risks that glia two lters do not feel like running , as it assumes the role of "representative".
Three is the perfect number, you say. The Graces were three Magi were the three musketeers were three.
Being in three fills the gaps in their being two. There is no doubt. More is better.
Ma .. in friendship? The strength of the substance, the essence of the friendly relationship (the deep) increases or decreases, in three?
you happen to be "three"? Friends in three? And how have you experienced this? The robustness of the link has remained intact, evenly spread or is polarized, leaving the third corner;
The third helps, sometimes disturbing, sometimes escapes.
For example, Freud suggested that the tripartite psyche and the protagonists were the trio were the id, ego and superego. The id is pure sexual energy and vital, bursting, without banks and rationality. The superego is the internalized system of rules, the court (more or less strictly) inside the individual, the result of absorption of dogmas family, social etc. The ego, the third, the request is normalized, the filter that makes the id and the superego not threatening innocent. Even I sometimes get tired, though, and sends everything to hell. The stops to be the mediator, the shock of the other two and retracts. The person or is overwhelmed by his uncontrollable impulses or hardens into a monotonous routine of strict rules of comportamneto. Excuse this digression, but sometimes emerges Morelli in me.
Just as I can to pack up and leave the person at the mercy of the other two instances it the third friend can get tired, leaving the couple at the mercy of their relationship without mediation of any kind.
There's nothing more irritating in a friendly relationship, exploitation of the third for personal use or to establish / maintain relationships with others.
That is, as Tom does not pay proper attention to me (I was going to stay within the foul language) I will use for arms and, since you're more friendly and we do know, the launch of the messages by using you like, him / her retinue, and you I do by homing pigeon. Poi, quando ho raggiunto il mio scopo ti trasformo nel terzo incomodo. Eri comodo, adesso non più. E faccio, e facciamo, di tutto, per eliminarti. Usciamo di nascosto senza di te, programmiamo la vacanza senza di te, andiamo al cinema senza di te. Ti diamo buca e non ci scusiamo.
Poi, quando s'incrina qualcosa nella coppia e si avvicina il "the end", torno a chiamarti, dicendoti che senza di te non è lo stesso, che era bello quando si era in tre e che, forse, "ti abbiamo trascurato". C'è chi ci casca, purtroppo.
Semplificando. Se c'ho una sorella di belle fattezze e un tizio mi si avvicina chiedendomi il numero di cellulare, proponendomi prima la partitella a tennis, poi l'aperitivo, then the pizza with the note "and if you want to bring your sister" and then back-to three-aperitif and then the drinks you drink it alone because the two are in Sharm, without telling you anything .... then do not you were the target.
It so, so is life.
Friends Friends Really Friends, in three, it is very difficult. Unfortunately.
agree, of course, opinions and, above all, experience the opposite.
It 'easy to find a subject that we aim to exploit another.
you attend, you flatters, designated catch the prey and then evaporates, then returns when the other sends him to hell and starts try again, "maybe you can convince him to see us, all as the good old days", "no, he closed with me ... but if you're there you can recover (fake tear) ... I know you do not never said, but you were the smartest of the three, you were the mainstay of our friendship. "
What a laugh! Who has not ever!
I learned, when it happened, to hold the game for a while, if I have nothing else to do, because I enjoy it and see what m'intenerisce loneliness and sense of omnipotence and do become hypocrites do say things that do not even think.
Then the "how are dear ....!" hides a "you're on cabbasisi", "as you are clever "hiding" are you really stupid, "" how do you know "hides a" you're just a loser, "" I'm fine thank you, you helped me so much "hiding" I now need you and I aim for this that really interests me. "
Some people are so skilled and so able to empathize with adhesive in the role of" friend for all that was wrong and wants to try again "coming to get you to think again about them and instill drops of hot guilt . Terrible.
Then all of a sudden, you give up again, to each other or the other it is.
Council:
- Never lend themselves to this game, consciously or unconsciously. At most, to understand who you really do, pretend for a while and then close, shaking off the ballast hypocrite.
- Never fill their loneliness with solitude of the other.
- listen well to what the other / a says and how he says it.
- Beware of sudden schmaltz, compliments, caresses suffered emotional when the slap still stings;
- Please read non-verbal communication (I'll be redundant but his eyes are always talking about).
- Make a good backup of everything that has happened before. Remember the words spoken then, things done then, the sense of frustration that we experienced discovering "third package" which is more demeaning to be "odd man out."
- Let us stop being pins of a friendship that has two or three, try instead to feel SHARED the same level as the other and with the same responsibilities of bond. Otherwise, change the air. And 'better.
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